Hello all and welcome to the grand opening of Fish's Fabulous Fireworks
TM! Do you like fireworks? Do you like anything else? Doesn't matter, because fireworks are the only thing we sell!
Because we feel the need to expertly craft all orders by hand, our product is not available in our shop but only produced and sold on demand.
The headquarters in central spawn can still be used to find information about our company and business practices on the fly however, and serve as an excellent meeting place for business transactions.
This includes free bowls of mushroom soup while you wait for your delivery (bowl not included)!
If you wish to order fireworks from our legitimate business that is not just a front, contact FishSandwich (yours truly) or NoFuckWasGiven (co-owner and pleb).
While we do not offer decorative fireworks for your own safety, we offer 3 different qualities of rockets; duration 1, 2, and 3. The differing production costs of these different items results in the following prices:
(Please note that these prices may be subject to change in the future)
Duration 1 rocket: One diamond or 16 iron ingots per stack of fireworks.
Duration 2 rocket: Two diamonds or 32 iron ingots per stack of fireworks.
Duration 3 rocket: Three diamonds or 48 iron ingots per stack of fireworks.
That's right, we accept both diamond AND iron. We will only accept iron ingots as a form of payment for a limited time, so if you want to take advantage of this special deal, order your own collection of firework rockets today!
If you are doubting the quality or legitimacy of our business, please consider the following benefits we provide compared to the competition:
- Our firework rockets are boneless
- Our products are expertly crafted with only the best workers that slave labor has to offer
- We only use free-range, vegan gunpowder in our facilities
- An orthodox Greek priest has personally blessed every single one of our firework rockets
So what are you waiting for? Order now from Fish's Fabulous Fireworks
TM!
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Please note that Fish's Fabulous FireworksTM is not responsible for any damage to personal belongings or loss of life. All our firework rockets are expertly crafted and tested and any accidents are a result of malpractice by the buyer. Claims against the validity of our product will not hold up in the court of law and we do not offer refunds or any other form of compensation.