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Topics - FishSandwich

Community / 1.16 Nether Tunnels
June 24, 2020, 12:22:00 pm
Howdy folks, it's that time of year again; another minecraft update, another (nether) reset, and another block palette to make a nether tunnel system with! Since the theme of this update is the nether, I had the idea to make every rail be based on one of the new nether biomes, rather than a color like we usually do:

Warped Tunnel (North)

Delta Tunnel (East)

Crimson Tunnel (South)

Soul Sand Tunnel (West)

These designs are a little different from the ones I posted in the discord channel, mainly:
-I replaced the stripped stems in the Warped and Crimson tunnel with non-stripped versions. I made these designs when the first nether snapshot originally came out and I didn't like the looks of the non-stripped stems, but they have grown on me since. They add a bit of texture and color to these two tunnels.
- Previously, the Delta and Crimson tunnel had normal lanterns instead of soul lanterns. While the normal lanterns give off more light and fit the color scheme of these tunnels better, the soul lanterns makes piglins run away, behavior that takes priority over attacking players. Even if we don't spawn proof the tunnels, the soul lanterns make the piglins much less of a problem (they'll still block your boats, though).

Materials needed (500 blocks in every direction):
- 157 stacks of blue ice (nearly 3 double chests full) (0/157)
- 8 stacks of soul lanterns (8/8) provided in raw materials
- 33 stacks of warped stem (9 stacks of which to be turned into warped slabs) (0/33)
- 36 stacks of warped wart blocks (0/36)
- 24 stacks of basalt (0/24)
- 36 stacks of gilded blackstone (0/36) (probably the hardest thing to get...)
- 34 stacks of blackstone (to be turned into blackstone brick slabs) (0/34)
- 33 stacks of crimson stem (9 stacks of which to be turned into crimson slabs) (0/33)
- 36 stacks of nether wart blocks (26/36)
- 24 stacks of bone blocks (24/24)
- 36 stacks of soul soil (0/36)
- 34 stacks of quartz blocks (to be turned into smooth quartz slabs) (6/34)

I added a small, temporary collection of chests across from the spawn nether portal and behind the bulletin board to collect materials we can already gather right now

Hey all, welcome back to this graveyard of a forum. In the discord, we've had many discussions about alternative means of getting shulker shells and we've finally landed on a semi-acceptable solution. Shulkers now always drop 2 shells, and Chester went through the end and respawned all the shulkers killed so far. Of course, next update, we're going to get another, rare, non-renewable resource that is going to be severely limited by the world border; Netherite (or specifically, ancient debris, which is the primary ingredient for Netherite). Worse, this resource is in the nether, which means it'll be limited to the 2.5k by 2.5k nether dimension.

For those unfamiliar with the recent snapshots and coming nether update: Ancient Debris are a new ore-like type block found in the lower levels of the nether. It's extremely rare and never generates exposed to air, so you'll need to do a lot of digging to get it. Ancient debris can be smelted into a single piece of Netherite Scrap, and combining 4 pieces of Netherite Scrap with 4 gold ingots will give you a single Netherite Ingot - You can upgrade your diamond gear and tools with netherite ingots in the Smithing Table (only one ingot required per item), largely increasing their durability as well as increasing their mining speed and armor toughness a bit. All around it's a pretty valuable material that's basically an upgrade to diamond. If we're going to make exceptions and changes for shulker shells, we definitely should for netherite as well. There's a couple approaches we can take here:

1) Make a crafting recipe.
On paper, this seems like the easiest solution to implement and make it widely available. In practice, crafting recipes are a fucking disaster. Everyone has their own line for what is too cheap and what is too expensive and I don't think there's any crafting recipe for a material as valuable as netherite that more than 50% of the players could get behind.

2) Make ancient debris/netherite scrap/netherite be obtainable through bartering with piglins.
For those who haven't been looking into the snapshots, piglins are a new mob that spawn in the nether - they're basically the non-zombie versions of zombie pigmen. If you throw them a gold ingot, they will pick it up, look at it for 6 seconds, then give you an item in return. This process is known as 'Bartering' and can be automated by simply having a dispenser shoot gold ingots at a trapped piglin. For more information on this mechanic as well as the drops you can normally get from it, check the wiki page.
A possible way of making netherite obtainable is by adding either netherite ingots or netherite scrap/ancient debris to the piglin trading table (with the same rarity as netherite hoes, most likely). This would make it so you'd need over 8 stacks of gold and a good amount of time depending on how many piglins you have trapped to get a netherite ingot (or 4 times as much if you were to make them trade netherite scrap/ancient debris instead). I think this would be a nice little trade off - it'd take a lot more time than just mining for it, but significantly less effort (if you have a gold farm, that is).

3) Make ancient debris/netherite scrap/netherite drop from the wither.
The validity of this option largely depends on if someone makes a wither skull farm again once we reset the nether. Similar to the piglin option, this would require the initial effort of making a farm, but then just takes mostly time. However, it's not fully automatable, unlike with the piglins, but might require significantly less time depending on the rates of this wither skull farm. As a trade off to taking significantly less time, I thought it might be balanced to include a little bit of randomness into the mechanic, and have the wither drop a random amount of netherite scrap - somewhere between 0 and 4, maybe? Just so you don't know exactly how many skulls you'll need to acquire the amount of netherite ingots you want.

If you made it to the end of this post, congrats! Please vote on the option you like best, or suggest your own in the comments if you have a better idea (but you don't, I'm way smarter). Thanks for reading!
Community / 2020 Easter Egg Hunt!
April 10, 2020, 03:19:17 pm
Easter is almost upon us! However, it seems something is awry. The bunnies need your help! Head over to their stand in spawn and see what is wrong to start the egg hunt (done by pressing the birch button on the ground).

The egg hunt will send you all over the map to find eggs (player heads). Some are in plain sight, some are a little more hidden. Every egg is hidden at a location with a marker in case you're having trouble with any of the clues. At the end of the hunt you'll receive some nifty unique prizes!

Happy hunting!

Fair warning: in case you're doing this hunt with a group of people, make sure you receive all the clues in your chat yourself. The way the hunt is set up, you need to find the eggs in order so you can't just cheese the hunt if someone tells you where the final egg is. If you don't get the clue in chat, the flag also didn't get set for you, and you won't be able to get the next clue, so be mindful of that!
General Discussion / Spawn is a ghost town
January 23, 2020, 12:46:37 pm
!! Warning !! This is a call out post. No one gets spared.

Hey everyone. It's your resident banhammer-wielding maniac, here to complain about something again. As the title may have spoiled already, spawn is a ghost town, despite the server getting a small handful of people who are regularly playing again, and it's been nice to see a few people online whenever you join (also please consider logging in and having a look if you haven't for a couple months :D)

The primary reason spawn is a ghost town mainly seems to be because there just doesn't seem to be anything to do around the area. Why is this? Because the area directly around the spawn teleports/nether portal is filled with useless bullshit. Low quality safehouses that don't even work, shops that haven't had almost anything in stock for ages, "temporary" buildings that have been there for the good part of half a year now. I've compiled a list below;

Starting from the spawn teleport straight away, we run into the first relic of a bygone time: the public rest house. It's just a small building with a bed, some furnaces and chests, etc. This might've been useful in the early days of the server when it was constructed, but it serves little to no purpose now. There's plenty of other safe spaces in spawn, not to mention you can't even sleep in this rest house anymore, because there's a trapped ravager in the pit next to it, making it so there's always monsters nearby that prevent you from sleeping.

Right behind the rest house is dragginmaster's second hand item shop. I remember it selling mending books at one point, and it was pretty useful, but that time has passed. It's current stock consists of 2 saddles (which are being offered free elsewhere anyways) and 5 stacks of arrows. That's it. There's also payment for items that have been sitting in the chests for more than 7 months, showing how long it's been since the owner went by to check on the supplies. It's just taking up space in a prominent location right by the spawn.

This area is just a mess. There appears to be a small cobble hut that was once someone's starter base, and a water elevator that let's you fall back down onto a slime block again? I don't even know what's going on here.

While you're there, you should check out the ...egg ...thing? behind you. There's... paintings inside?

If we head a little further into spawn, we'll come by the Butts enchanted book store (that is very low on stock)! See that sign outside saying they're moving soon? That sign's been there for 7 and a half months. Poor cola is still waiting on his spot to this day.

On your left hand side you'll now come by the main attraction: The bone shrine! It's made of bones. That's it.

If we take a really long walk past the big building we see in the above picture, we'll find yet another rest house. I'll refer back to the first bullet on this list. This is probably the thing on this list I have the fewest amount of gripes with because it also serves as an access point to the underground mall, and it's not in the way right now, but it is basically blocking the expansion of spawn in this direction just because there's so much dead space around it that can't be used now.

Then there's the bee tree right by spawn. In the newest 1.15.2 update, there's finally a way to generate your own bee nests by growing oak or birch saplings next to a flower, so once we update to that version I plan on getting rid of this as well.

There's also this bigass candy cane. It's not really in the way as much since it fuckin' towers over everything, but christmas was a month ago, c'mon now.

All these buildings and whatnot take up space from things that could be actually useful, or shops that could actually get stocked. Little_Billy made this great gear & item shop not too long ago for example, but it just has to be small wall now instead of an actual building because there's simply no room around spawn, which is kinda sad :c It's just a step up from the single-chest shops that I've tried getting rid of multiple times but that just keep popping up for most likely the same reason.

I'd like to get rid of the lot of these buildings (after talking to the owners, of course), so there's more room for new things, which might in turn motivate people to build something, or to check out spawn more regularly :) I'd also like to personally build a post office/trading hall-sort of building right by the spawn platform that'll hopefully get rid of the one-chest shops once and for all. Need to leave something for someone that isn't currently online, and you don't know where they live? Leave it for them in the post office! Have you recently come into the possession of a large number of elytra and you want to sell them, but you don't want to build a whole shop for that because you can't to bother keeping it stocked? Claim a chest in the trading hall and sell them from there, unclaiming the chest when you've sold out, easy as that! The post office/trading hall could also function as a safe house by putting a few beds in a back room or something, if people insist on having one still.

If your jimmies remain rustled for longer than 4 hours, contact a medical expert.
Community / Fish's Fantasticly Fun Treasure Hunt
July 11, 2019, 11:41:32 am
Because I needed something to do while I blatantly ignore the interior of my base, I made a small treasure hunt for other people who also want to ignore their ongoing building projects. I've built 6 minecraft creatures all over the map that have some hidden (and if I do say so myself, EPIC) loot to share with whoemever finds it first. This is a COMPLETELY ORIGINAL idea and totally not stolen from that one time Barrendome did it.

1. The Wandering Lord of Llamas

The Wandering Lord of Llamas is the mysterious entity living in the mountains of the Imgurcraft world that gave birth to all the llamas accompanying the Wandering Traders that travel the overworld. It lives somewhere deep in the mountains and only few have ever encountered it, but all who have touched its incredibly soft and silky wool were granted great riches. (tip: it keeps its treasure up its butt)

2. Turtlezilla

Turtlezilla was once an ordinary turtle, until she went for a swim through a nuclear test site. This leisurely swim made her become gigantic in size and also gave her some sort of atomic breath attack in some movies. Luckily for us she is peaceful and just wants to take care of all her babies. Rumor has it that she passed on some of her mutated DNA to her eggs, I wonder if they develop any martial arts skills when they're teenagers.

3. The Shulker King

The Shulker King is a mighty monster, who long ago united all shulkers to built the end cities we all know and love to hate. However, he is sick and tired of all the intrusions in his mighty kingdom and came out to the overworld to serve a dish of sweet, sweet revenge! Just one problem - he forgot he can't really move. Makes him easy to rob.

4. The Lone Guardian

The Lone Guardian was once a staunch protector of an ocean temple, until the temple was raided and turned into a prismarine farm. He alone managed to escape and now wanders the sea in search of a new home. Feeding on squids, fish, dolphins and unaware swimmers and no longer limited by the confines of a temple has allowed him to grow even larger than an Elder Guardian, with an outer carapace that's said to be even tougher than diamond.

5. The Magma Core

Legend has it that at the beginning of time, there were not multiple magma cubes as there are today, but one gigantic magma cube that took up all of the Nether. As the magma cube ate and ate and grew and grew, suddenly, it became too big even for the nether to contain it and exploded, splitting into the smaller magma cubes we know today. The Magma Core is a peculiar creature that once sat at the very heart of this first magma cube, and it still contains some of its ancient power.

6. Endermoron

Unlike the other creatures on the list, Endermoron hasn't really done anything noteworthy. He's just really fucking stupid. Look at his dumbass sitting on that small island. You know why he's there? Because he's completely stuck. There's no land close enough for him to teleport to. What a fucking idiot. Probably believes pee is stored in the balls.

PS: please don't destroy them, just take the loot from the shulker boxes c:
General Discussion / 1.14 Map reset?
April 22, 2019, 08:17:39 am
God this place is a graveyard.

Hey folks, it's everyone's favorite minister of propaganda here, FishSandwich.

1.14 is coming up, with a supposed release date tomorrow, and there's been plenty of talk in the discord about resetting the map considering how dead it is and all. Of course, it's probably better if we actually tally the votes instead of assuming everyone is down for a reset. Also, there might be another small obstacle; As some may remember, we did the 1.13 reset right as the update came out, and we were missing some of the plugins we were used to. We couldn't discover if something was stolen and by whom, and we also couldn't enable villager crop harvesting without also enabling creeper/ghast/wither/enderman griefing. So for the people who are down for a map reset, you should decide whether you'd just like to play 1.14 on the server as soon as possible, or if you'd like those QOL improvements. I personally feel like we managed fine without them last year, people quickly adapted to keeping their valuables in their enderchest and didn't have stocks at shops for the time being, but I don't know how the rest of you felt about it.

I have the poll set up for another 2 weeks, so vote at it.
Community / Fish's Fabulous Fireworks!
August 15, 2018, 02:46:21 pm


Hello all and welcome to the grand opening of Fish's Fabulous FireworksTM! Do you like fireworks? Do you like anything else? Doesn't matter, because fireworks are the only thing we sell!
Because we feel the need to expertly craft all orders by hand, our product is not available in our shop but only produced and sold on demand.

The headquarters in central spawn can still be used to find information about our company and business practices on the fly however, and serve as an excellent meeting place for business transactions.
This includes free bowls of mushroom soup while you wait for your delivery (bowl not included)!

If you wish to order fireworks from our legitimate business that is not just a front, contact FishSandwich (yours truly) or NoFuckWasGiven (co-owner and pleb).
While we do not offer decorative fireworks for your own safety, we offer 3 different qualities of rockets; duration 1, 2, and 3. The differing production costs of these different items results in the following prices:

(Please note that these prices may be subject to change in the future)
Duration 1 rocket: One diamond or 16 iron ingots per stack of fireworks.
Duration 2 rocket: Two diamonds or 32 iron ingots per stack of fireworks.
Duration 3 rocket: Three diamonds or 48 iron ingots per stack of fireworks.

That's right, we accept both diamond AND iron. We will only accept iron ingots as a form of payment for a limited time, so if you want to take advantage of this special deal, order your own collection of firework rockets today!

If you are doubting the quality or legitimacy of our business, please consider the following benefits we provide compared to the competition:
  • Our firework rockets are boneless
  • Our products are expertly crafted with only the best workers that slave labor has to offer
  • We only use free-range, vegan gunpowder in our facilities
  • An orthodox Greek priest has personally blessed every single one of our firework rockets

So what are you waiting for? Order now from Fish's Fabulous FireworksTM!


Please note that Fish's Fabulous FireworksTM is not responsible for any damage to personal belongings or loss of life. All our firework rockets are expertly crafted and tested and any accidents are a result of malpractice by the buyer. Claims against the validity of our product will not hold up in the court of law and we do not offer refunds or any other form of compensation.
Community / Another Fishy idea
August 02, 2017, 10:45:57 am
Alright, so, I know we're a mostly vanilla survival server, but 1.13 has a feature coming up that I think we could maybe make use off. I'm talking of course about custom crafting. In case you're not up to date, in 1.12, a change was made in how crafting recipes work coding-wise; previously, recipes were hardcoded into the game, but now they're very easily editable notepad files in your game folder. Next update, they will add support to effectively change and add your own crafting recipes. Important to note is that you can't insert new items, just recipes. So for example you can make iron nuggets craft into chainmail armor, because all those things are already in the game, but you can't make popped chorus fruit craft into purpur tools, because those don't exist. I'm wondering what you guys think on if we should make use of this feature (since it's great for small Quality Of Life improvements, some of which I will list shortly) and it doesn't mess with the general feel of vanilla minecraft (imo, it's a change similar to how the dragon drops elytra on death).

So, here are my personal ideas on what we can use it for. Like I said, most of these are just QOL changes, but I have one slightly more relevant one at the end (no pun intended).

1) Logical stairs.
So, we can all agree that slabs make total sense. 3 blocks make 6 half blocks, that's just math. However, 6 blocks make only 4 3/4ths of a block. 6 full blocks would be equal volume to 8 stairs. Even if you assume the chunks you cut out can't be glued back together, you should still be getting 6, right? I suggest we change the stair crafting recipe to give either 6 or 8 stairs instead of 4.

2) Synchronized dyeing.
Alright, so almost everything in minecraft that you can dye works in the same way; dye in the middle surrounded by 8 blocks. All, except wool. I suggest we change it so you can dye wool the same way as clay or glass; 8 blocks with one piece of dye. While on this topic anyways, I suggest we also add the ability to redye these items, so for example, if you want red wool but all you have is green, you can just redye that green wool instead of having to get white wool somewhere.

3) Pimp my horse.
Long ago, when horse armor was introduced, it was craftable, and it was just all around a good time, but then the spawner loot tables attacked. I'd like to introduce craftable horse armor back in. Maybe a more expensive variant then was originally in the game, because diamond horse armor took only 5 diamonds which is a bit cheap.

4) More portals for everyone.
This is the slightly more relevant one I was talking about. I'd like to make end portal blocks craftable. Now, before you get your jimmies all rustled, hear me out. First off, the recipe would contain end stone. This means the end must have already been found, and you most likely will have to go there yourself to craft the portal. Furthermore, the recipe would be expensive. I'm talking like a diamond block maybe? And remember you need 12 of these blocks to form a portal, so that's not something you're going to be able to do right off the bat. Maybe some obsidian in there as well just to make it that much more of a pain and because it kind of looks like that's what the end portal block is made out of.

This comes with the added downside of end portal blocks not being breakable by the average joe. This means you have to be really careful about placing them, and there is some potential for trolling there. I think the best workaround for this would be to create a command block on a clock at spawn that continuously checks for people with end portal blocks in their inventory. If it finds someone, it will send them a message telling them to be careful while placing it, as well as warning them that placing in someone else's base is grounds for a ban. If something ever does go wrong, I personally don't find it too much of an issue to drop by and remove them for you (Can't speak for all the mods though, that Chester is a lazy one).

That's just my 2 cents. Do you think adding custom crafting recipes to the server would be a good idea, and if so, what recipes would you like to see?

Yours truly,

Fish the Sand witch.
Announcements / Rounding out the moderator team?
July 06, 2017, 08:17:33 pm
Hello everyone, it is me, your friendly neighborhood FishSandwich, here as a stand in for our glorious leader rev who is currently doing something completely legal with swords.

I'm here today to talk to you about a concept we've been throwing around and discussing for a while. I've been added to the mod team a couple months back now, partially as a replacement for Marten who was already spiraling into the depths of inactivity back then. Marten's officially left the team now (like if you cry every time), and while we honestly feel like we have a good coverage on things now (considering activity and ability and such), we'd like to see your opinion on this concept.

Last time a moderator, yours truly, was added to the team, some people were kind of upset. Not because they necessarily disagreed with me becoming a mod, but simply because they didn't have a say in the matter, which begs the question what other decisions would be made without a community vote. We don't want to feel like you aren't being heard, so this is where you can give your two cents (by either voting and/or commenting).

So if it wasn't clear yet, we are thinking of maybe adding another moderator to the team. Nobody specifically, although we've had a few applicants approach rev directly, we're just interested to know if you guys think we need another mod at all. Also I guess if you feel like you'd be a good mod and hadn't applied yet, you can also talk to me or Rev about it and we'll discuss it with the others (I don't know how regularly Chester and Creep check the forums so I don't know if messaging them gets you the fastest exposure).

Please vote in the poll and if you have a strong opinion or idea on the matter, comment below.

Yours sincerely,
Fish the Sand Witch.
Community / So much for a clean 2017
February 15, 2017, 01:54:11 pm
In the spirit of Valentine's day, I present to you: the legendary saga of old.

Breadcrumbs in the sheets
a RoseLock x Swimshroom fanfiction

Skillfully written by FishSandwich. Don't question it.

Chapter 1

It was a cold, dark wednesday morning in spawn. The dew that evaporated from the funky fields as the rays of the sun hit them covered the plains in a light gray layer of fog. The whole town smelt like a fresh broccoli stew because of this. But one other, distinct smell penetrated the glorious wallow of fresh vegetables. Yeast, with a dash of cinnamon and pumpkin spice. It was indeed local blond bombshell RoseLock, proud owner of the TwoTwoOne Bakery, which I think is a pun or something but I don’t get the name at all. But I digress.

She was slaving away in the kitchen, preparing yet another batch of pumpkin pies to feed the masses of spawn. Even though the sun was just reaching over the horizon like a midget trying to grab a pack of oatmeal from the top shelf at the super market, she had already been working for hours. She was exhausted, and her breathing was heavy and quick. Which each inhale, her chest bounced ever so slightly like a kid with a broken leg on a bouncy castle. She had a small splatter of fresh dough on the left of her mouth where she could just not reach it with her tongue. She could’ve used her hands, but for whatever reason, she did not. I guess this can be considered a major plot hole.

Speaking of mayors and holes, lawful mayor Swimshroom had just awoken in his castle. He had just won yet another successful election, because there wasn’t really anyone who had any decent plans or even use for the position, but he just happened to be the first on the list so everybody voted for him out of pure laziness. He tied with a polar bear for fuck’s sake. At least the current candidates for US presidency know how they’re going to fuck up the country. Anyways, Swim, sleeping naked as the day he was born, lifted himself out of bed. His rough muscles, even without oiling, glistened in the morning sun. His silhouette was sharp and manly, like the shape of a Greek God or a gorilla dragging around a kid. His sweaty cock stood upright and tall. “His cock” of course being the rooster he used as an alarm clock substitute. Why it was sweaty despite chickens’ inability to sweat, we’ll never know.

As Swim got dressed in his mayoral gown, he picked up the scent from the TwoTwoOne Bakery. Despite being confused by the name, he knew Rose’s pumpkin pie through and through, and immediately called his aide to get him a slice. “Yoeppy, at once!” Mayor Swimshroom yelled. Yoeppy had been at Swim’s side ever since he had dropped out of the election. According to him, all he wanted was a banner. After that, the two of them built the luxurious castle in northern spawn that they resided in. However, this autumn morning, Yoeppy was nowhere to be found. Swim, disappointed, set out to get a slice for himself.

Swimshroom arrived at the bakery. He swung open the sturdy spruce doors and walked inside. Surprisingly, he found nobody behind the counter. He cleared his throat loudly to get the attention of anyone in the back. “Just a moment!” Rose yelled as she started taking out the last few pumpkin pies. Swimshroom glanced around the room. In the corner was a dog chewing on its own tail. Swim walked over and gave the animal a scratch behind the ear. From his collar dangled a small, bone-shaped name tag that read “Moonmoon”. Swimshroom thought it was a pretty good name for a dog chewing on its own tail.

“How can I help you today?” a sweet, soft voice spoke from behind his back. The sound engulfed his eardrum like vanilla in a sorority house. Mayor Swimshroom turned around to demand a slice of delicious pumpkin pie, only to be stunned by beauty. In front of him, behind the counter, was the most beautiful being he had ever had the honor of laying his eyes on. Except maybe that entrecote he had yesterday. That looked pretty sexy as well.

Swimshroom stammered as he tried to get the words out of his mouth, but all he wanted to do with lips was press them against hers. “Is everything alright? Are you having a stroke?” Rose asked. She thought the man was very good-looking, but now that he started what could only be defined as the sound a living gargoyle would probably make as it’s spewing out water, she was less attracted to the man. Suddenly, she realized who was opposite of her. “Oh my, Mayor Swimshroom, what an honour to have you inside!” she said, as she wondered how a mentally disabled person tied for mayoral position with a polar bear.

Swimshroom, ashamed of his sudden inability to speak, turned as red as a beetroot. He got into a coughing fit from choking on his own words, but eventually recovered. “One slice of pumpkin pie,” the mayor spoke as he rubbed the back of his neck, “please.” Rose smirked. He wasn’t as incompetent as she guessed. His showing of imperfectness actually made him seem approachable to her. “Okay, coming right up,” Rose giggled. Swim wanted to spark up a conversation just so he could hear more of her sweet soft voice, caressing his ear canal. Alas, she had already disappeared back into the kitchen, but not before mayor Swimshroom could get a perfectly angled look at her behind. It was the ideal distribution of roundness and plumpness, like any anaconda would want.

While she was in the kitchen, Swim took of his jacket, revealing the tightly fitting tee underneath. With his arms exposed and the lining of his body much sharper, he looked like the epitome of male attractiveness. Rose strutted out of the kitchen with a plate for the mayor, her hips swaying side to side. As she glanced over at him, she almost dropped the plate, but she managed to restore her composure at the last second. “H-here is your pumpkin pie, sir,” Rose stammered. She felt a heavy beating within her chest, and a tingling in her underside. It was, of course, the egg-timer in her pocket, but at the time she did not realize this.

Mayor Swim knew he impressed her, as her mouth was ever so slightly ajar, and her eyes were unable to focus on any specific part of his body and instead looked like they were trying to take in every inch of his rugged manliness. He grinned as he carefully took the plate from her hands. At one moment, the tips of the fingers touched. They both looked up and their eyes were locked for what lasted only a second, but felt like an eternity, in which everything about their attraction for each other had been said. With nothing but an exchange of gazes, followed by a nod, Mayor Swimshroom left the Bakery, lovestruck.

Chapter 2

As dusk started to fall on spawn, Mayor Swimshroom sat on the side of king size bed, preparing for yet another sleepless night. It had been a week since he had gone to the TwoTwoOne Bakery, and since that faithful day, he could think about nothing else but her. He couldn’t sleep or eat, except of course some pumpkin pie. His faithful servant yoeppy had returned again, who was out deep sea diving that day. Now that he was back, Mayor Swimshroom didn’t want to go to the bakery again. His feelings for Rose would become too obvious if he went, despite his servant being right there. He needed a plan.

Meanwhile, over at the Bakery, Rose was still lovestruck as well. At night, she dreamt of being with the mayor, and during the day, she hoped he would walk through those spruce doors, flexing his strong, manly arms, ready to envelop her like a wasp is enveloped by orange soda just as it realizes it fucked up. Alas, every morning, like clockwork, yoeppy walked in by his lonesome to get a slice for the mayor. Rose was worried Swim wanted nothing to do with her. Did she stare at him too long? Was he creeped out by her? Did he not find her attractive in the slightest?

Just as she was about to close her eyes for another night of Swimshroom-filled dreams, she was surprised by a loud, crashing sound nearby. It was the construction site next door, where work would take place at the oddest times. The building, whatever its purpose, was almost done, thankfully. Soon she could enjoy her dreams without being interrupted. She put in some earplugs and went to sleep.

As the sun’s rays sneaked through the small cracks in her window, Rose started awakening again. “Mayor Swimshroom, not in public… hmm…” she moaned, before she fully waked and realized it was just another dream. She looked at the clock. Late again. The periodic wake ups inbetween her exciting dreams made her miss a lot of her usual rest, and she would often oversleep. She looked through the small window in her bedroom, only to see a grand opening banner alongside the building next door. Finally, construction was done! She figured she might as well say hello to her new neighbor after she was done baking.

As Spawn was once again filled with cinnamon and pumpkin spice, a sharply dressed man admired the fruit of his labors. After weeks of work, he finally fulfilled his lifelong dream; his own restaurant. He placed his hands on his hips, accenting the tone of his body. He was not as muscular as Mayor Swimshroom, but still muscular, just with a more emphasized natural body shape. Broad shoulders and a tight behind, like a regular pretty boy. His hands were callused from working day and night on his new livelihood, stacking stones and nailing wood. But wood was not the only thing he would nail in that town. He just didn’t know it yet.

“A mighty fine establishment you got there,” a voice spoke behind him. The sharply dressed man turned around, his dark blonde hair shimmering in the dawn’s light. Before him stood another sharply dressed man, yet wearing an unfitting green hat. It appeared to be a couple sizes to big as well, up to the point where it might as well cover the entirety of his head. “I’m Yoeppy,” the hat-wearing gentleman spoke, “I don’t think I’ve seen you around before, what’s your name?”

“The name’s Fish Sandwich, but you can call me Fish. It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Fish replied, with a smirk across his face. He reached his hand out to Yoeppy, who gladly shook it. Fish cleared his throat, “Could I perhaps interest you in a fresh batch of fried chicken? Free of charge.” Yoeppy grinned, “I’d never say no to food, especially free food.”

As Yoeppy gnawed down on the most delicious chicken he had ever tasted, Rose sighed as she plopped down the last piece of dough on her counter. As it landed, it bounced a little, like some sort of round, fleshy object. Not sturdy flesh though, whatever this fleshy object would be would be soft. Perhaps some sort of milk producing glands. Big, alluring, milk producing glands. With her lack of sleep, Rose could barely get in the work she used to, and she was already behind schedule. For whatever reason, Yoeppy hadn’t even come by though, who was usually her only customer in the early morning. Might as well go for a stroll around town, she thought to herself.

“C’mon boy, let’s go for a walk!” Rose said as she put on her coat. Moonmoon interrupted his poop eating session to look up, and after half a minute had gone by remembering what a walk was again, he was excited and ready to go, as he leaped over to the door and skidded for a halt on the carpet when his snout was only an inch away. He licked away a small remainder of dogshit with his tongue. “Good boy,” Rose said, as she pushed open the doors. As she closed the door behind her, she flipped the sign saying she would be back in a bit. She continued on her walk with Moonmoon, who had seemed to pick up a delicious meaty scent. Moonmoon bounced in the direction of the scent’s origin, and Rose let Moonmoon guide her.

She looked around spawn. The foliage around the lake was blooming ever so beautiful, even though it was already well into autumn. The sight of the large willows around it always cheered her up. She made a mental note to herself to send the landscaper Lucifur a cake as a thank-you gift. As she tried to come up with a witty pun to put on the cake, she tripped on something. It was of course, loyal fuck up, Moonmoon. He had decided to lay down in the middle of the town.

As she scratched her head and tried to get up, she saw a hand reaching out to help her up. She glanced up at the good Samaritan, but with the sun rising just behind them, the person was but a silhouette to Rose. However, she could clearly see it was a big, strong man. Well-dressed, with a sleek hair cut. Beside the man, she could clearly see another, skinny man wearing a big hat. That could only be Mayor Swimshroom’s servant, Yoeppy. That must mean the big, attentive man trying to help her up was Mayor Swimshroom. She gladly took his hand, and as she did, an electricity coursed through her body, like something she had never felt before. It caressed every square of her body, from her pillowy lips to her well-toned thighs. At that moment, she knew, he was the one. Only Mayor Swimshroom could make her feel this way.

As Rose was pulled up with just one arm, she was once again impressed with Mayor Swimshroom’s strength. His big, manly arms always looked sturdy and dependable, but to actually be carried away by them was a dream up until that point. She was sure she was even lifted off the ground for a short second, like a little kid trying to prove his non-bouncing ball was, in fact a bouncy ball. It very clearly wasn’t, but it got about an inch of the ground, so it’s a bouncy ball according to the kid. Once she was on her feet again, she needed to catch her breath. The fall wasn’t exactly exhausting, but simply being so pleasantly surprised by Mayor Swimshroom’s presence was enough for her to forget how to breath for a second. She looked up to thank her secret man crush, only to be greeted by an unfamiliar face.

“Are you alright?” The man spoke. His voice was calm and collected, as someone who has had experience with aiding the needy, “that was a pretty bad fall.” He had a curious grin on his face as he clearly enunciated the words ‘pretty bad’, as if he somehow found it kind of hilarious. Rose was at a loss for words. She expected to be smiling into the face of the man of her dreams, but instead she was locked in eye contact with this stranger. His eyes were a deep dark green and pierced her light blue eyes with a stark contrast, as if he was looking straight into her inner being. The electricity that Rose felt when their hands touched sparked up again, which made her realize that she was still holding his hand despite being up on her feet already.

“I-Im fine!” Rose stammered as she quickly pulled away her hand, her face quickly turning so red that she was doing honor to her name. The fact that she felt that electricity, that feeling of being intertwined with her true love, that must surely have been caused by her thinking this person was Mayor Swimshroom. A week ago, when they properly met for the first time, she was sure they were already meant for each other. How could she suddenly harbor those feelings for this complete stranger. Who was he? Where was he from?

“I see you’ve met Fish,” Yoeppy said as he took a quick break from stuffing cock down his throat, “he makes the best fried chicken I have ever tasted, you should try some!” Rose reluctantly accepted the chicken leg Yoeppy handed her and brought it to her mouth. It was like a complete opposite of her baking. It had no distinctive smell until she brought it close to her nose. It had a very sharp and penetrating scent, as if you were suddenly kicked in the ball by an 8 year-old. The combination of herbs and spices made it difficult to tell exactly what was used to coat the meat, but it smelled great. Rose opened her mouth and took a small bite.

For a second she didn’t feel anything, but was then overcome by a burst of flavor. The chicken was hot, like it had come right of the grill, yet the cayenne added another layer of heat on top of that. The smooth taste of paprika filled her mouth, while the slight hint of garlic tickled the underside of her tongue, which was then all topped off by a hint of freshness from a dash of basil added to the recipe. This was by far, the greatest cock she had ever put in her mouth. She whirled her tongue around it to absorb all it’s flavor, before swallowing it. She took a quick breather, but found herself already taking another bite as she wanted more of this delicious meal.

It was indeed completely unlike her expertise; her food was special, every dish original, like a break from people’s mundane lives. It was good because you wouldn’t have it every day. However, the chicken only left you wanting more. It was almost addictive, like not shaving downstairs because you’re not getting laid anyways.

Before she knew it, she had finished her share of the chicken, as did Yoeppy. Both had a hint of sadness across their face. “I should probably get going on my errands,” said Yoeppy, as he ran off towards who-knows-where. “Thanks for coming by!” Fish shouted after him, “if you want more, you know where to find me!” Rose kneeled down and pat Moonmoon on the head, “we should probably get going too.” She continued on her path with big steps as Moonmoon sprinted out in front of her. “Hey, wait, I don’t even know your name!” Fish called after her. Rose grinned and turned around, “It’s Rose, nice to meet you.” She winked and turned around again. Fish crossed his arms and laughed, “of course a beautiful woman has a beautiful name.” Maybe there was more for him in this town than just business.

Rose returned to the bakery and threw her coat over one of the chairs. She thought her current struggle in life would be winning over Swim, but turns out she had to make a choice first.
General Discussion / 1.11.2 survival guide
February 09, 2017, 05:30:17 pm
The 1.11.2 Survival Guide

(optional: Listen to this while reading)

Hey all! For those we still haven't caught on, the server was updated to 1.11.2 by our one and only supreme commander rev, skipping 1.11 and getting straight on with it to 1.11.2. That's a lot of changes to get used to, so I decided to make a nice list with the important bits.

There's a lot of exploring to do! With new structures in the overworld that contain exciting new enemies and loot, you'll want to head into the unknown right away. If you need some help with this, try finding some villagers. Sometimes, Cartographer villagers will sell you maps leading you straight to Ocean monuments and the new Woodland mansions. If you think you don't need the villagers' help, you can always just try finding them on your own. Just a tip, the woodland mansions only generate in roofed forest biomes.

The woodland mansions are huge wooden structures populated by mysterious Illagers. They are the weird cousin of the villagers, which you can see if you can stand to look at their ugly grey faces enough. They stand out from the friendly villagers by their need to kill everyone in sight, and boy are they good at it. They don't have to trade items because they trade in bloody death. I'm not kidding, do not take these on unless you are fully prepared to take a beating.

The most common type of Illager is the Vindicator. They seem friendly at first, but once they spot you they will pull out their axe and charge at you with blinding speed. Now you're probably thinking, something so fast wouldn't possibly hit hard and you couldn't be more wrong. A small group of these will even pose a challenge for someone in fully enchanted diamond armor. They drop precious emeralds, and also have a small chance to drop their iron axe. If it's any consolation, they can't respawn, so once you get rid of them, they're gone for good.

Not all Illagers are psycho axe murderers. Some of them have found enlightenment and studied many years to master the art of magic - something they use in their never ending quest to kill every human being they come across. These are known as the Evokers and they will shoot out rows of bear traps that clamp down on you, dealing 3 hearts of damage regardless of armor or enchantments, so yes, these hurt no matter how well you're equipped. Luckily you can dodge them quite easily. If he wants to, he can also summon small ghostly critters to fight at his side called Vexes. He will spawn 3 at a time. They are small, fly around, and can phase through blocks, making them hard to hit. They'll get a slightly red coloration when they are about to attack, so keep an eye out for that. The Evoker will also drop some emeralds for you, as well as special new item: the Totem of Undying.

The Totem of Undying is a life saver, literally. If you take any would-be fatal damage while holding the totem in one of your hands, you will survive with half a heart and get a nice Regeneration and Absorption bonus. After that, the Totem disappears, so it may not be worth the hassle of getting it. Still cool to have and take with you if you plan on doing something dangerous.

There's not just new structures to explore - old one have gotten some added value as well! The Shulkers that live in the End cities now have a 50% chance to drop their shells. 2 Shulker shells and a chest make a shulker chest, a fantastic items that functions just like a chest, but when you break it, all the items stay inside. This means you can carry an entire chest's worth of items in just one inventory slot! They can't be placed inside each other for limitless inventory, but you can put them in their ender chest, so you can carry a lot with you as well! They can be dyed and named to keep them apart. Shulker shell drop rate is increased by the Looting enchantment, so be sure you have that to get the most out of the soon-to-be extinct shulker.

If you care for a more traditional variant of lugging your junk around, it's your lucky day. The world is now populated by llamas, who you can tame just like horses. They can be equipped with a chest and carry items, the amount varying from llama to llama. If you put a lead on one of them, up to 10 nearby llamas will line up behind them and form a caravan - all of which can be equipped with chests (which can also hold shulker chests by the way, in case you were planning to move your entire storage room into a newly emptied woodland mansion). They can also be equipped with carpets to decorate them with beautiful patterns. They drop leather when killed, but leather won't help you sleep at night after what you did to those cute defenseless llamas you monster.

Congrats, you made it home with your loot and new fluffy best friend. Maybe you got some kick ass armor to take on more woodland mansions and end cities. But be wary! Armor you loot can be cursed. I couldn't make this up even if I wanted to. Curse of Vanishing means the item will disappear upon death, while Curse of Binding means you can not unequip the armor once you put it on unless you die. It's not game changing, but it can lead to minor annoyance.

What's that, you found an elytra in one the end cities you visited on your holy crusade of Shulker genocide? I hope you stocked up on gunpowder, because the previously useless fireworks can now be used to give you a boost while flying. Yay for not having to shoot yourself! The more gunpowder you craft into the firewoks, the longer the boost will be, ranging from 1 to 3 seconds (1 for every gunpowder, detectable by the flight duration tag on the firework). Be sure not to add a firework star into the recipe - while the explosion may look nice, they will explode right in your face, which sucks because they do damage now.

Now, besides your elytra and cursed armor, you probably have a bunch of shitty gold and iron stuff. Don't worry, you don't have to donate it to the new players any longer, fuck 'em! Gold and iron tools and armor can now be smelted down into gold and iron nuggets. 9 of these are needed to craft the respective ingots. Every item will only result in one nugget, regardless of durability, so an undamaged golden chestplate isn't better than a golden shovel with 1 durability. You can also do this with the gear you get from your skeleton and/or zombie farms, so have at it!

If you're building a mob farm just for this purpose, you're probably already looking up how to install a mechanism that lowers the mobs health to 1 so you can kill them easily. Of course, if you're no redstone genius and can't get the timing just right, there's a solution for that now. You can now get the new Sweeping enchantment on swords, which increases the damage of the sweeping effect added to swords in the combat update. The enchant goes up to III, at which point the blade sweep does 75% of the direct hit.

Might want to put Mending on that sword so you can use your new farm to your heart's content! Isn't Mending the best? Mojang certainly seemed to think so, because they FUCKING NERFED IT. Alright, that may be exaggerating a little, but that's the jist of it. You can no longer put both Mending and Infinity on the same item, so this only affects bows. Any bows you have with these enchanments already on them are fine, so I'd keep them safe if I were you. If you need a new super bow, you'll have to choose between an infinitily durable bow or an infinite amount of arrows. Personally I prefer the second option, but the choice is up to you. You can get plenty of experience from your brand new mob farm to enchant new ones.

Waiting around for mobs to spawn might make a person of undefined gender hungry however. Luckily, food cost has been lowered for many things! Running, jumping, swimming, hitting and getting hit: it all drains your hunger less fast! On the downside, the food cost for natural health regeneration has been increased, so if you're the type that takes a lot of damage, you might want to up your food game.

If you're lazy like me, you might want to make an autofarm. It's your lucky day once again! For you redstoners out there, there's the new Observer block. It can detect changes in blocks on the "face" side of the block, which outputs a short signal on the other end. This can be things like placing or breaking blocks, but it can also detect things like crops advancing to the next stage, a furnace starting to burn or water freezing, so there's a lot of potential for all sorts of farms!

Did you enjoy this guide to the new riches of 1.11.2? You can send me a thank you in game, I'm usually there since I have no life. Don't be shy on compliments and praise, because the character limit has increased to 256 instead of the old 100!

Even that entire paragraph will fit! Think of the possibilities!
Community / Future and management of the spawn cities
January 07, 2017, 07:15:58 am
Was planning to make this topic for a few days now, but after some discussion about the spawn cities in discord last night, I figured I should get to it.

So, as we all know, Marten has generously provided a new worldspawn that teleports players 5000 blocks out in any direction. This makes for the possibility to create a new spawn city in each of these 4 directions. Sadly, with the low influx of new players the server has, it won't look like they'll get there anytime soon. More so, I don't think new players who have nothing to their name would be willing to create entire cities by themselves, so I feel like it is both a great opportunity and our duty to create these spawn cities for them instead. By the community, with the community, for the community.

Of course, as we see from the original spawn, an unchecked community city quickly turns into a junkyard circus on a downhill slope, with each new building looking even more out of place than the one before it. That's why I propose to call something into life. Introducing:

The First Council

The First Council, otherwise known as the council of imgurcraft & the united spawncities (or COITUS for short) is a small group of community members that manage the spawn cities together so everything goes according to plan and we don't end up with things like giant cube shaped mazes in the middle of town.

In it's beginning stages, I'd like the council to contain 5 members. 4 of these, the council members, act as representatives of one of the 4 cities. Don't see them as a position of power like a mayor or king, but rather a figure of authority you should respect. No council member has direct power over an entire city, as the council members answer to the people instead of the other way around. Rather, they are there to enforce (for lack of a better word) the shared ideas of the entire council. You can address them if you need any help, resources or guidelines for contributing to the cities, or if you have any ideas that you think would benefit the city. The council member can then in turn ask the rest of the council for resources or advice.

The fifth member of the First Council is known as the High Councellor. While not a direct representative of any of the 4 cities, he is there to make sure the council meetings take place in an orderly fashion. He is in a way their leader, but still answers to the people just like the 4 council members. He can call the council into meeting if he deems it necessary, and his opinion carries just as much weight as any of the council members. He also oversees the distribution of resources between the cities.

I didn't really have anyone in mind for any of these positions yet, but since TheRibz has already put in some work on the western spawn city, I'd like to ask him to become that city's representative if he doesn't mind. Also, someone in discord last night had the idea of making one of the spawn cities have a lot of mini-games (Sorry I can't remember who you were for the life of me), so maybe they should consider trying to join the council as well. I'd personally like to apply for the position of High Councellor, but since I'm the one who came up with this whole thing and I don't tend to be the most pleasant person to deal with, I can understand why some people don't agree with this, so certainly voice your concern and/or if there are any other takers.

Also, disclaimer, but the council will have no influence on server management whatsoever if anybody ever got that idea. We can't make decisions like "we need a black wool spawner" that one of the moderators would then have to construct. This is purely for the smooth construction of the cities so we can work on them as a community and help new players get started.